Okay, here’s one new novel’s beginning:

  

Provenance, Chapter One: Moons and Crows 

The year that Amey Hunter turned twenty-two, there was a bumper crop of corn on every farm in the upper Tomassee Valley, and red-winged blackbirds by the dozens took up residence along the lane between the Weatherby’s stable and her great-great-grandfather’s orchard. In Amey’s dreams, while she lay between her peach-colored sheets in her room under the eaves of a red-bricked dormitory that belonged to one of Boston’s best universities, the birds’ chatter turned into an angry hum. So she was not at all surprised when later that morning she opened the letter on aqua note paper and inhaled the aroma of wild roses, read the few lines scrawled there, and realized that her father was about to betray her and her mother one more time.

She was one jot short of hyperventilating when her roommate, Ella, entered the room, her black hair top knotted and sweat streaming from every pore.

“Practice was brutal today. I ran full tilt into that big–” Ella stopped, her hockey stick in hand. Her gaze traveled to the paper that Amey held loosely. “Your Mom? What’s Lucky on about–I mean, is anything wrong?”

Without a word, Amey handed Ella the note.

Ella read, then folded her forehead into wet wrinkles. “She’s unhappy because your dad’s coming home? Why? I thought that was what she wanted.”

Amey had jerked her chin toward the hand her roommate was extending with the note. “There’s a postscript.”

The other girl sunk onto her pink chenille bedspread. “Oh. ‘Give Amey the keys to Full Moon Cottage.’  

……………………….

What do you think? 

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8 Comments

  1. This sounds like a book I’d like to read. I like the part where the birds’ chatter turns into an angry hum which seems to give Amey something like a premonition (?), i.e. the connection between nature and Amey’s thoughts. However, I have been wondering if the peach-colored sheets might not be too much. But then I do not know how the story is supposed to continue. If the sheets and their color will be important later, or if it is supposed to be a very romantic story, then you should probably keep them.( But please remember I am not a native speaker, so I might see things in a different light tjan someone who grew up with English as their first language.)

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  2. Bobbi

     /  May 18, 2016

    Delightfully descriptive, as always.
    You had me hooked up to the PS. Why is Amey’s mother writing to Amey and telling her (Amey) to give Amey the keys?
    I want to read on, but mostly to figure that out–is that what you intended?

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  3. Can’t wait to get to know Amey. Keep putting one word in front of the other, buddy. xoxo

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    • Ach! Missed your comment, Buddy. You sound like a satisfied writer with a book coming out soon. 😉🎈Thanks for the encouragement. I think you’re right: Somehow, if you keep writing, eventually you find an ending. This time, I know the ending before the middle, which is making it easier!

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  4. Trippmadam, I think the same about the sheets–good editing! They do relate to a point to come later, but I’m thinking they might be too much of a good thing. We’ll see what a more final edition has to say about them. Thanks for reading so carefully.

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  5. Bobbi. I do like to throw in clinkers to keep you wondering if I’ve lost my mind. You’re right. It will be explained.

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  6. Tricia, Amey is so different than anyone I’ve ever written before–a rich girl with some major challenges ahead–and I’m really digging into my experience with a wider acquaintance to find her motivations. It’s very interesting when your heroine has very little in common with you.

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  7. Okay, maybe I have to do on location in the South of France for more research.

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